Category Archives: Uncategorized

Would it actually kill you?

I’ve started working in a fairly well-to-do area of Sydney and have noticed a few idiosyncrasies which,  well to be true to my self expression,  are irksome.

The buzz word around the traps these days is ” entitled “. Much of the media says it’s the millenials fault.  I spose in some ways you could argue its true, but not for the way that you might think.

Entitled people beget entitled people. It seems to me there is a touch of the good for the goose is good for the gander. It is amazing how concentrated pockets of entitled individuals can pop up and cling together like blue green algae in a stagnant pond.

Possibly one of the most irksome things about working in retail is how controlled your response to entitled individuals is by the powers that be above you in the chain of command.

For example: Today,  three people in a row have approached an employee to purchase, while refusing to get off their phone.

You might think to yourself well,  just don’t serve them until theystop being so rude, right?   In your everyday life if someone was trying to speak with you and were on their phone to someone else at the same time,  you’d be pretty pissed off.

What happens in retail is we ‘enable’.

Entitled people will test the water with both feet on how far they can push it.  Often they know that as an employee you’re unable to comment,  and unable to refuse service and simultaneously have to put up with their fucking bullshit.

What happens when they complain to the powers that be?  The powers that be reward them for it.

And so the shit spin cycle goes on forever until, who knows, maybe a customer punches an employee in the face and gets given a $100 gift voucher for being inconvenienced.

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The children are taking over adult venues.

It is well known among my peers that, I take a fair amount of issue with the local pubs I visit being over run by under 18s, and tiny children. I understand thIoIzY7oat parents feel like they shouldn’t miss out on a social life, for the small fact they have kids,  however my question is, at what point did we as a society stop thinking about the adverse effects this may have on them?

Kids aren’t allowed in the pokies room, but there is nothing banning them from the smoking areas or sitting at a table covered in wine and jugs of beer.

Back in 1994 a paper was published on Childhood exposure to alcohol and adolescent drinking patterns. it found : “children who had been introduced to alcohol before the age of 6 years were 1.9 to 2.4 times more likely to report frequent, heavy or problem drinking at age 15 years than children who did not drink alcohol before the age of 13. It is concluded that young people reared in home environments that have permissive attitudes to alcohol use and who are introduced to alcohol at an earlier age may be more vulnerable to alcohol-related problems in adolescence.”

SO, am I just an arsehole,  who prefers adults only venues to stay a sanctuary away from out of control minors who can’t decide for themsleves, if they want to be there or not?

I am sure many would say yes, but consider this.  Is it possible these parents simply creating another generation of hard core drinkers?

Australia is traditionally known for it’s drinking culture, however with recent spates of alcohol related violence, which has led to harsh restrictions on when you cant and cant buy alcohol, lock out laws  and  the basic reduction of fun in general, to whom do we point the finger? Where does this shit begin?

Just as we are starting to educate young kids about relationships and domestic violence, why did we take the foot off the accelerator on  kids and drinking?

Conversely;  It could be said that in European countries, children are exposed to alcohol from quite a young age and the instances of alcohol related problems are arguably,  far less there. Table wine with dinner, and long term exposure works to bring down the urge to binge drink because it has always been available, and is therefore not a big deal.

Smart venues in Sydney are embracing the fact that parents still want to be able to go to the pub on a Friday night, and have dedicated areas where all families are welcome.  It means the parents spend some money, but does it create a future market at the same time? Maybe.

Most of these venues will also have areas that are kid free, however I am yet to see a single time when the rule hasn’t been broken.

As a punter who disagrees with kids running around with no shoes on, smearing their hot chips into the window, climbing over the seats to pull a face at me while I watch the cricket, I ask, what would happen to a grown ass adult if they tried to do that?   Get kicked out, that is what.

I feel like there needs to be some new form of social etiquette in place for the new phenomena of under 10s in bars.  How do we get a dos and don’ts for using the pub as your baby sitter  in 2015. My Top 3:

  1. Keep your kid at your table
  2. Bringing them to the pub in their pajamas, probably isn’t that cool an idea. You don’t have to be “that cool dad” you’re just a jerk. I dont wanna look at kids in their PJs playing pool.
  3.   It’s not a fucking playground for children.

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I’m about to go H.A.M

I bought a ham. A free range ham. That means my piggy pig pig’s leg was free to roam in pasture, and to act like a pig and to interact with other pigs of all ages.

I really wish the opposite was true in terms of labelling. Free range costs a lot more, usually because, funnily enough it is more labour intensive.  We humans are pretty much arseholes when it comes to making livestock production cheaper. Jamming sows in stalls not wider than their bodies and making them give birth in there. Apparently banned in most other countries except of course, old backward backwater Australia.  ( I mean how much further backward can we go Tony Abbott?)Free range pork is born free range and gets to live free range, until it is (hopefully) humanely put down for the purposes of my Xmas season tradition of eating a ham leg for the next 3 months.  If you know me, you know I love my pork products. I do try to actively source Free range pork.

I used to be a Vegetarian , for 10 years infact, and I think after I returned to the land of the omnivores,  Ham was one of the last meats that I came back to because of the intelligence of the animal.  Pigs are smart. So are Squid for that matter.

If you’re having ham this year at Xmas, look for Free Range Pork. But don’t be fooled by the trickster label “Bred free range” because that means the Sow was allowed out, but the piglets were separated from her at 4 weeks and taken away to shelters full of other piglets into a piglet, stolen children house.

There is sadly no legal definition in Australia  and most supermarket hams are the trickster version.

I reckon Free range is far superior anyway. Ask your local butcher.

My Dingo ate your stick figure family.

On the eve of the ‘lecshun, I’m sure there are a number of faithful readers who are wishing I would just shut up about it already. As it may be, I find it amazing that very few people actually ever take me to task.  To those of you who have, Bravo. I believe, with all my strength of conviction that you are mostly wrong, but I will defend your right to be wrong to the death.  Freedom of speech. FTW.

There is something that has always always pissed me right off to the core since it’s conception, something  I will never defend, and I abhor. It’s about time I blogged about it.

My Family Stickers.

What sort of fuckwit needs to tell another person, possibly trailing them after a road rage incident, that they have 3 young kids and work in I.T?.. At least,  I assume that’s what it means when  presumably the “dad” character has a laptop floating mid air, and he appears to be unable to get off the phone. Or, That Mum, is 9 times out of 10,  clearly a lazy money spending vacuum, who does nothing other than pop out sprogs and go shopping.?

Don’t even get me started about the inherent presumed familial roles and the gender gap, and how you can represent yourself with a prefab, stereotype decal.

Do you really need to add multiple goldfish in 2 separate bowls to indicate you have two goldfish?  What does it mean when one of your “family” has a halo and wings? Are they dead now?  Was it really their final wish to be represented in spirit, by a poorly constructed, mass produced, stick figure?

Or does it mean they are a twink?

I have seen some attempts at humour in this, and kudos to that guy who just had a Man stick figure holding a cup of coffee and  stuck next to him was a stick figure duck.  You win the creative piss take award.  You did, however, still buy in to the hysteria.

One clearly crazy cat lady, gets 2nd place for actually being the one representation I’ve ever seen of a female character with a laptop floating in mid air, and had placed a plethora of stick figure cats, all the variations available it would seem, in a circle around it.

People with the Mum, Dad and two kids. Your stickers are  boring, and nobody cares.  People with the “F*ck your stick figure family”  take on it, your stickers are boring and done to death.  People with the Zombie stick figure family, you are just boring.  Today I saw “My Dingo ate your stick figure family”  Wasn’t even funny.  I’m sure the Chamberlains agree with me.

The only exception to my hatred, was that one time I saw someone’s family as Star Wars characters.  Everyone else, you are clearly the reason this country has taken a swing to the right this election.   Think about it.

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Get some Condoms.

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Australia Cannot Afford the Coalition

“George Brandis (Abbott’s biggot big-business attorney general) came out this morning to announce that the Libs are changing copyright laws online to end pirating in Australia.” -Aaron Darc

The Australian Independent Media Network

This isn’t an article about economics.  This is an article about something far more precious  – Culture.  Australia is losing the best parts of itself and at the speed this slide is happening we’re going to be culturally bankrupt before we get a chance to save the farm.

Things started to go bad during the Howard years.  Australia’s most reactionary leader and government sought to unravel the fabric of the social reforms of the Whitlam era, particularly in regard to the rights of women, whose proper station in life had clearly been forgotten.  What he couldn’t achieve in that specific respect he made up for with his own ideas on how to reverse the progressive trend of the Nation’s growth pattern.   He took our famed and admittedly somewhat exaggerated “egalitarianism” and thoroughly trashed it with middle class welfare programs.  He is the progenitor of the modern illness of a…

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My Beefs 2013

Rants.  I like ranting in itself, however…

If you are going to rant, rant loud and rant often. The odd, occasional rant runs the risk of tarnishing an otherwise rant free reputation.  When you rant a lot, you get good at ranting.

People will either agree with you, or regretfully call you a friggen dickhead. I have personally found that the people who call me a friggen dickhead, often have a preconceived expectation, that I should agree with them about things. If it has got to that point,  I usually do not.

I can handle being called a friggen dickhead if I know I am factually correct with my ranting.

If you are going to rant, check your facts, check them again, compare them and then rant. This will make you troll proof both IRL and online.

If you must rant an Opinion, be prepared to be lambasted. It comes with the gig.   Most rants are exactly that. An Opinion. An opinion backed by facts and statistics is very hard to argue against.

Having said that, I like to think that I am a licensed, card carrying troll buster.  My favourite thing to do is lob in to an online debate ( debate meaning it has started out rationally, and then quickly deteriorated into an emotional one) leave a mind bomb which will cause agitation, and then sit back and watch… never. commenting. again. The agitator or person who feels that they have been the most “shit on” will eventually have a brain fart and quit just after invoking Godwin’s law. ( Of which I am usually the first to point out once they’ve left in a huff)

If you must rant, be good at it. Get some practice,

Anger ( especially keyboard warriors)

Everyone is angry about something.  The Labor supporters are angry at the Liberals who are angry at the Greens, who are getting preferences from the Independents.

Women are angry that men still don’t understand that skirts don’t rape women, men do, and men are angry that they are getting “Shit on” by women. Which may be why so many want to vote in a government that will send us back to the 60’s.

Some people are angry that middle class, hetero, white guys still don’t understand that they can’t really be upset about things unless they have done it to themselves because western society has made everything easy for them.  ( I bet that made some of you angry.. am I right?)

Since as a society we don’t tolerate actual fisty-cuffs to have out our beefs any more, as per our evolutionary “fight or flight” response, (and it’s not like people actually think to simply just not read about things that enrage them on the interwebs), flame wars have become the norm.

If you’re going to be angry, also be angry in real life ( IRL) and follow through with your convictions.  In the word’s of Kylie Minogue.. “It’s one thing to say you love me, and another to mean it from the heart. If you don’t intend to see it through, why did we ever start?”

I’m not saying come out swinging fists like a cave-person, but keep the strength of your convictions. Figurative guns a blazin’, and standup for what you believe in at all times.  Anger is then seen as courage. Courage = Care bears and shit like that. People love care bears.

Snake oil.  ( peddlers of bullshit)

I know we all gots to get paid. Even Shakespeare had to.   I believe how you make your money is a measure of your character.

You can see that there are thousands of insecure ( convinced by social conditioning through both media and hundreds of years of lovin’ the oppression we’re in type scenarios ) men and mostly women who are hating on their own bodies.  Even if you try to be untouched by the scourge of body image oppression, at some stage, most people will have it creep in to their lives.

If you have to make money out of a culture of created angst, which can lead to mental illness, depression and even death, then I reckon you’ve got a lot to answer for, even if you are a T.V celebrity.  Even if you are Michelle Bridges. Charging over $100 for an online, virtual fitness and eating plan that is only ever going to work if the self control of the participant is greater than the urge to scoff down KFC on the way home from work, getting in at 8pm to your 2 cats and a pile of dirty laundry to do.  I reckon it’s set up to fail. Meanwhile, uber fitness idols are just rolling around in the Benjamins on their black satin sheet clad water beds, while you weep into your Ben and Jerry’s over failing, yet again to lose 1 single kilo this week.

Get into fitness, for sure! You will feel both mentally and physically more sound. But if you want to pay a hunjy big ones, join a gym, or a bootcamp or get a real life PT. And for god’s sake don’t buy any herbal pills off the internet. Dont expect at age 35 to look like a 16 year old Jeans west model. That aint gonna happen.

Want to combine Ranting and Anger and shaming snake oil peddlers? These guys are doing it right:  (warning, bad words)

[youtube http://youtu.be/7cwAmgBgNvY%5D
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Sydney ( Cock tales)

Opera Bar Cocktails

I’ve pondered for a full month about some of the things that just… well… could be better about this place. You can call them first world problems if you like, everything is relative.

Sure, we have great bars, it’s a foodie town, there is plenty to see and do here, but when you get down into the ‘burbs’ and the cost of it all for anyone who lives here, it can be quite a defining feature of whether or not you love or hate it.

Ive lived in Sydney since 1996 at the tender age of 18 when I made the great trip south from the country town I grew up in. Over the last few years, I have found peace and balance for the most part. Taking full advantage of what the town has to offer, and often living it large with realatively expensive meals and drinks. I live in a “double income, no kids” household ( unless you count the cat)  so I have a lot of expendable cash…. but hang on a sec.  Expensive, key word?. Fuckin’ A. Some expensive meals and drinks are nothing but a rip.

For example, last night I had a ‘Duck Shepherd’s pie’.  It cost $23 from the newly reborn Henson Park hotel, which is renown for being the home of the Newtown Jets Rugby league team and used to be a bit of a dive. I will call this out publicly because well, shit, that’s $23 for some duck and veggies that have been stewed in a pot for F-knows how long. It may as well have been beef pie, and I dont recall Shepherds ever having to herd Ducks.  I believe it is fair to say that the new owners are clearly trying to cash in on the local hipster/yuppie/breeder not reader,( or maybe just SMH)  home owners who have infiltrated a previously back water area of Sydney.

Marrickville is  becoming an expanding example of gentrification. We all have an inner hipster who says, I knew about this place before the hipsters ruined it, sure, but why do we continue to support this nonsense? I do not think it is justifiable to charge over $20 for a substandard meal that has been talked up and fails to produce.  Just as I do not think it is acceptable to charge $50 for a carton of warm Toohey’s Extra dry at the local pub  ( The Summer Hill Hotel) bottle shop, when it is generally accepted to be $10 cheaper in ANY other liquor store.  I asked in vain, of the bar staff who served me, “Why is it so expensive here?” she said she didn’t know, that this was “just the price it says it is”  Sigh.  I am going to become a crazy cat lady hermit. I wanted her to pass on my disgust. I know she didnt.  All of this within the space of 2 hours.

This town is making itself what is is because people accept paying more, and accept shitty service, and at the same time everyone is acting like an arsehole to each other.

The Opera bar is another good example  and it’s also the service that needs some revision. $18 for a cocktail from their list. Mr. P asked for a particular favourite of his to be made for him and he said he was happy to pay. The bar staff who was just out of nappies, said that he didnt think Mr. P’s combination would taste any good. Mr. P said, Im paying you to make this drink, so make it.  The young man said “it will cost you more than $20, though”  We werent sure which part of this conversation he wasn’t following.  Some simple maths deduced,  that they were charging $10 per shot of alcohol from a bottle of alcohol that probably cost $40.  Thats 750ml / 30ml = 25 shots.  $250 squeezed out of one bottle that cost them $40 if that, considering they’d pay wholesale prices.      Seems legit? Sure it’s a Tourist trap, but again, why?

Anyone could make the damn drink at home for half the price. We are really paying for sitting next to a public space with a view of the bridge. You could do that on a train to North Sydney, brown bagging it all the way, and there you could have your headphones in, listen to your own choice of music and not hear shit like this:

[youtube http://youtu.be/EB2aVzmPxxM%5D

Thick girls

I like social media sites where all you do is post pictures. I also like social media sites that allow commentary of the pictures. I’m an ex-art school degree carrying, sometime internet aficionado, who likes to think of herself as a geek, of a kind.  Im not a ‘Big Bang Theory’ nerd.  I can’t maths very well, but thanks to technology ( See I told you so, Dad) I don’t really need to do much trigonometry myself. I can, actually  just fucking Google it. That, or ask one of many in my network of nerd friends, who I ave purposely surrounded myself with.   I don’t purport to be an expert in much, ( except aquarium keeping, ask me anything)  but I’m a ‘Jill’ of all trades.  I’m also, I think slotting into a new niche.  What the internets has coined a “Thick” girl. Not Thick as in stupid, or Thick as in a few palings short of a fence or Thick as in a 6 pack short of a carton.

I learned this through online social media, other than Facebook.  Mostly from Tumblr.

Firstly let me preface this, with the idea that it is up to the individual if they want to define themselves as a type. If you want to be labeled as  what I think is a great 2010’s era*  phenomena, then take a look here…. This term obviously applies to body type.  As western society is obsessed it seems, with the body beautiful, so has an ‘alternate’ example of the body beautiful emerged.   It isn’t just “thick” girls.  In fact there is quantifiable debate as to what actually falls within the new categories. It’s almost like purebreed dog breeders arguing over the specifics of a breed.

Thick. It means you have a big, round arse and legs like a front rower for the Warratahs. It is referred to by Sir Mix-a-lot’s song “I like big butts”. She’s little in the middle, but she got much back.  The arguable ideal “thick” girl has a slim and toned waistline,  and a huge arse.  This of course is a body type Unicorn. Generally speaking if you have big, thick legs and arse, you probably have some muffins baking on top  to go with that crumpet. ( Unless of course you are genetically predisposed such as my African, or indeed Pygmy counterparts)   You’re by no means a slim super model type person, but you definitely kick those curves all the way to Hong Kong.  In the words of Robyn you are gifted, all natural and burstin’ the seams.  I rejoice!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdTucUya9YE%5D

When I was growing up,  and even into my mid to late 20s, I had always been taught  by the powers that be, that being rounded in the rear, or having too much motor in the back of your honda was not at all a desirable trait. You are, for all intents and purposes, fat. You’re a fat arse.
Perhaps modes of infiltrating our minds with body image ideals, by fashion and large corporations have changed so dramatically that is has out paced the effects of bombarding every individual with the brain washing.  These alternate worlds have sprung up and usurped that notion that you ought to fit into a size 12 aus, or less.  Or maybe… the real world has just poked it’s nose through the loop hole.

In reality there is the term the internets also like to call “fetish”. Really this just means you prefer something to something else. It’s a preference.  People who have put a good deal of effort into achieving and maintaining their exterior appearance to fit into society’s status quo  like to call it a fetish because, who could possibly prefer that?  Well.. let me tell you. A LOT of people.

Other niches include: Voluptuous. Youre a bigger girl than a thick girl and you rock that body. and BBW. Youre a big beautiful woman.  and then SBBW. Youre a real big curvy and glorious goddess.  Whether you’re hetero or gay, there are people out there who only dig you.   Thankyou men and women of  Tumblr. We owe you our mental health.

*With the exception of Turn of the century women, who’s curvaceous bodies were a symbol of affluence.

These days, sexism is a bit like Meryl Streep, in a new film: sometimes you don’t recognise it straightaway.**

Take a look at the online news, or the news on the TV. I mean the actual news, not the bullshit that is made up by what I call right wing, slanted, faux news like that presented on shows like “Sunrise” and Channels 7 and 9. I try not to watch those channels if I can at all help it.

Yesterday I read about racist slurs. Good work Aussies.  Another great reason why  people who come to this country should live by “our way of life” Love it or leave it, right Bogans? Cos here, you’ve got to be racist to other races, even if you’re another race…..to fit in. get it? *

I read about a woman charged 3 years later with the death of her 6 year old daughter due to willful neglect. Her partner, upon hearing a loud bang in the child’s room, found the girl unconscious, but did nothing. They left her there to die, later burning the body in a suitcase and taking it to bushland. The mother cried on TV in 2010, for anyone who knew anything to come forward.

Again.. good work Australia.  Make sure when you emigrate that you slay your children and then act like it wasn’t you.  Just dont bring religion into it, or you’ll be deffo a terrorist.   Unless it’s Christianity…. then it’s alright… but as long as youre not “full churchy” Just be God fearing, and conservative… but make sure you’re into Motorbikes, and hot sluts.  ( But not your missus of course, she’s not allowed to be a slut) *

HUr hurr.. that’s a bit sexist, and predjudiced right?

We all read about sexism this week, but people cant understand the full grasp of sexist remarks and their impact in society.

What exactly is sexism?

Put simply it is a bias or prejudice against a person based on their gender.  It’s about stereotypes of gender roles. It can be about saying one gender is superior to the other. It’s not always clear cut. it’s not always….’Women are shit drivers’ and the old classic ‘Get in the kitchen and make me a sammich’ remark that those damn trolls like to use on every image or forum known to well… the long standing phrase says “Man” but we’ll say “humankind”

Ive had some blokes tell me, much to my chagrin, that the reason it still exists, is “cos that’s the way it’s always been” after I  remarked that I should be able to go out in public,  get sexually advanced on by any old swinging dick and then not be rudely verbally abused if I so choose to reject such attention.Not be called a “Fat slut” or a “whore” ( irony)  just because I told you no.

The way it’s always been since when? Cave men days?  Y’all think you can come along and club me over the head? There’s a reason that sort of behavior is often framed as Neanderthal like.

I dont mind if you have a perv. I like the idea that I’ve “still got it”  I never said you couldn’t look, from afar, over the other side of the pub for instance.  I call myself Post-feminist and I believe that women should be able to flaunt it if they have it, just as much as a dude.  Feminism in the first place, has allowed me to get to that point in my life time. Thank you feminism. Sadly, instead of saying “you go girl!”  Some women reading this,  will now be forming the opinion that I clearly have tickets on myself, if I think dudes are ogling at my tits all the time.  I’m sorry,  but they are. Sometimes it’s ok. But often, so often, dudes get it horribly wrong.

Society has made women think that way about other women flaunting it. It’s how it keeps us in check. Give  Naomi Wolf’s ‘The Beauty Myth” a little read for more on that topic.

There are the female supporters of sexist remarks,  (who help camouflage what sexism really is…)  whom I can only remind,  that there is a special place in Hell for them.   Technically there is no space for a woman to argue against feminism, because heck that’s akin to denying science has made so many advances in your life, and cures for your common ailments. You wouldn’t be sitting here, reading this, if not for feminism.  You’d be busy cooking and giving birth in the back room in bare feet and making sure you’re quiet about it so you don’t disturb your husband watching the footy, let alone be allowed to read or have a go on the internet.

The more women carry on with the line  ‘Im not a feminist…but…’. The more it proves it’s own point. There they are enjoying feminism. Julie Bishop. I’m looking at you.

It’s a double edged sword.  Bishop claims that Gillard is putting the advancement of women back by decades, by playing the now famously called “Gender card” but Julie, you act as though sexism no longer exists.  It does I’m afraid.  I would like women like you to discontinue supporting the covert, misguided efforts of your conservative counterparts.

Hello 1950’s calling, we’d like our ethics back.

I just want it to be understood that women are people. They make up half the god damn population, if not more. They own less than 1% of the word’s resources, they’re paid 17.5% less on average than a dude doing the same job.    Saying that that’s the way it’s always been just makes me want to tell you  there’s a cure for willful ignorance.  Read a book. It’s 2013 now.

Women, read this Book. and get informed. Supporting sexist bullshit, is merely making it harder to define.

*That’s sarcasm.

**You can be up to 20 minutes in, enjoying all the dinosaurs and the spacefights and the homesick Confederate soldiers, before you go, “Oh my God — under the wig! THAT’S MERYL.”

Very often, a woman can have left a party, caught the bus home, washed her face, got into bed, read 20 minutes of The Female Eunuch and put the light out before she puts the light back on again, sits bolt upright and shouts, “Hang on—I’VE JUST HAD SOME SEXISM AT ME. THAT WAS SOME SEXISM!

Caitlin Moran’s How to be a Woman
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