Since my last post about this topic, Dear readers, I have found that I have become more and more aware of the bullshit and slanderous and misogynist tendencies of men who are trash, online. And more and more willing to call them on it.
*Today also marks the release of the Australian Human Rights Commission’s data on the prevalence of sexual assault on Campus.
Rape culture exists, and is being more exposed than ever before partly because of the interenet.
This internet is still not a safe space for women either, but more and more of us are speaking out against the culture of belittling women’s issues, and rape culture. More and more, are reposting, with names, the vile spew that men have written about us, in broad daylight.
Recently, a movement, mainly on Twitter has started, called #menaretrash and offended men and some women ( I’ll get to that later) , everywhere are jumping to the worn out, yet so often not understood #notallmen, in response. I occasionally began to wonder if it is even worth the energy needed to verbally combat the ignorance, and more importantly wonder, is it really our job as women, to continue to try to educate those who refuse to understand? Inevitably I always come back to the concept, Yes it still is.
In a debate, if neither side will learn anything from the other, it is wise to end the debate. Some may say this is the best option for Men’s rights activists ( I will call MRAs in this post) vs. Feminist arguments. Personally, I feel like I have learned a lot about how, many men don’t understand what they are trying to argue against, how many men harbor a venomous hatred, a vicious, dangerous, subcutaneous urge to physically maim their opponent in and outside of the argument, it is deeply ingrained. They openly blame feminists and female identifying people who dare to call them out on their shit talk, as the reason they are “forced” to call women fat sluts, land whales, whores, who deserve to be humiliated and killed in a public place. They brought it upon themselves, they say, they deserve it.
I wouldn’t have this understanding of their motives, if not for reading and responding to copious numbers of very angry blokes. It is tiresome, but I plow on because I have never believed in anything more in my life. No religion or faith, or conviction have I ever felt more attuned to.
As a surprise, I recently had a female friend thank me for continuing to post feminist arguements and attempt to slay the patriarchy, because she didnt feel like she could do that so publicly. I know there are people who see what I post now, but may not react. it’s still important.
In lieu of a TLDR: A Glossary of types of men’s responses to Feminism online which may help some people understand why I rage so hard:
Benevolence: Some men try to be clever and act as though they have some “advice” for women. This can come in the form of.. “by pointing out misogyny, you are actually adding fuel to their fire”, or ” your anger is legitimate, but…” I suppose they feel like they are agreeing with us, and giving us a good old bit of benevolence. For our own good, ‘as a man let me warn you because I know what men are like, of course #notallmen, because like, I would never think that, but you women should take my advice because #menaretrash.’ I just wanted to come in to your feminist pages and let you know that I’m a “nice guy” but you are misguided and need my advice.
This type of sexism can also manifest as an anger toward women because they feel like men do a lot of “favours” for women. Getting something from a high shelf, opening a jar, getting rid of a spider. All of which are deeply rooted in an old fashioned concept of chivalry. Too often though, forgetting to ask the woman if she actually wanted the help from them, and simply assuming that men and women have vastly different “biological attributes” which pre-determine their abilities.
Incel rage: Incel is short for involuntary celibate. These blokes, through what they believe is no fault of their own, are unable to get sex with women. Usually heterosexual angry white guys. There is an entire subreddit dedicated to their kind, and it is a scary space to go to. Incels believe that women “owe” them sex simply because they are men, and women are an inferior “species”. They are often enraged. They often don’t believe rape exists. They are the kind of guy who would go to one of those “how to land chicks in 3 easy steps” seminars. They post ironic things like “suicidal woman are attention whores” and that incels shouldn’t have to pay taxes and that women live on “easy mode”. Men who are considered good looking are called “Chads” and men who get sex are called “normies”. They have an intense and relentless bitterness, aimed right at women.
Lack of access to sex, or a relationship or marriage prospects, has caused these guys to lash out at women in general. Thus causing a perpetuation of their problem due to their aggressive, bitter misogyny.
MRA rage: As I’ve noted before, MRAs are the main group who identify themselves as the bitter enemy of feminism. If this was a computer game they would be the “big boss” to defeat. MRAs actively campaign against feminists. They are the kind of guys who feel that men are the marginalised gender. That men are demonised in society. They believe Feminists hate men and think all men should be killed. ( Misandry). They cry that the court favours women when it comes to custody disputes of Children. ( I personally believe if this has happened to them personally, this is where most MRAs begin their online careers as complete and utter jerks)
They also think women have more rights than men, and will often shit talk that women probably have WAY MORE rights than men. They will bring up the text book classics such as “More men die in wars than women” and “Men built all the infrastructure that you women enjoy” as well as “Men do all the hard labour jobs that women wont do”.
All of these are easily refuted. Most MRAs wont listen though. It’s because inevitably society is set up so they dont have to. That’s why they are trash.
Some men and women say they are humanists ( believe that all humans are equal, and feminism seeks to bring hatred toward cis gender males). Without going through all the reasons these excuses are bullshit, I sometimes liken the situation to a game of backyard cricket. Except the boys have a 50 run head start, and yet the girls are expected to play by the normal rules to achieve the same result or better. Everything’s equal, say the boys, we are letting you play the game with us now. If you want equality this is it!
Anyone can see that women were at a disadvantage from the start, and expecting them to catch up immediately is a lie.
Men online and IRL are trash. Of course it isnt all men, but if you’re not one of these types of fuckwits. You wont be offended.
I wait to be unsurprised by the AHRC report today, and I hope men are just as shocked by the report as women won’t be. Men are Trash online correlates to men who are Trash in real life. Keep fighting the good fight, feminists, survivors and families of victims. I know I will try.