Food

“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies…..She looketh well to the ways of her household and eateth not the bread of idleness.”
Prov., Chap. 31, verses 10 and 27.

At the moment I have an actual Love/Hate relationship with food.

I have much gusto in the comfort and deliciousness that good, well prepared epicurean food brings me, and I am not ashamed to squeal in delight when someone mentions BBQ Pork ribs. Pulled pork sliders, Pork Crackling and the like.  Bring me plate upon plate of Mexican food. Bring me mountains of Chinese Food ( Not just Gwilo style, the real stuff.. I sometimes think I was Chinese in a past life) Lay out before me a humongous bowl of Pho and I will love you forever.  Take me to Europe and watch me siphon up a plate of Fois Gras. ( No, seriously… take me to Europe)

I am actually in lust with Anthony Bourdain, and I dont think it’s just him, it’s his food stories and visual imagery. Currently addicted to “The Layover

the_layover_new_york

I love food, and hate it simultaneously because, leading a fairly sedentary life means you put on a lot of weight.  Which now I am trying to get rid of.  Not saying I hate my body, but when you end up with high cholesterol and high blood pressure, going the same way Elvis did doesn’t sound that appealing.   SO im on the 5 meals a day 5 days exercise a week thing. Hardly anything fun. No Alcohol.( well.. nearly none). Once I finally woke up to myself that drinking heaps and eating heaps is what’s making me fat, I have thus far managed to put a leash on the fat beast and have lost 4kg in 2 months. That’s about as much as my cat, in fat. Im pretty happy with that.

That being said, while drooling over epic food porn on the internets I came across this digital copy of a gem of a Book. Published in 1879, a community cookbook  called Housekeeping in Old Virginia     edited by Marion Cabell Tyree, who was born in Texas.

It’s a collection of recipes and info from 250 Housewives ( I assume, though I am also sure a lot of those would have had slaves and servants doing the housekeeping)  of Southern America.

” HOUSEKEEPING IN OLD VIRGINIA. CONTAINING CONTRIBUTIONS FROM TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY LADES IN VIRGINIA AND HER SISTER STATES, DISTINGUISHED FOR THEIR SKILL IN THE CULINARY ART, AND OTHER BRANCHES OF DOMESTIC ECONOMY.”

It blares at the reader. No doubt it was a treasured and much shared community masterpiece.  Did you ever stop and think about making Yeast reserves by boiling hops and potatoes and some more yeast and then putting it in a jar?  No.

And then there’s this:

CRACKLIN BREAD.

Take one quart sifted corn meal and a teacup of cracklins. Rub the latter in the meal as fine as you can. Add a tea-spoonful of salt and make up with warm water into a stiff dough. Make into pones, and eat hot.–Mrs. P. W.

I can only assume she means Pork Cracklin? And on further investigation  it is.  Say wut now?  And the measurements? One tea cup full.. now thats keeping it real. Aint nobody got time for… measurin cups… down in Texas.

It’s Corn bread. It’s Crackling.

    I am absolutely stoked to have found this online. But now I just have to work out what isnt actually full of Lard and Carbs and stuff you shouldnt eat when on  a diet.  Obviously this stuff was pretty staple back in the day.  But they are honest, simple ingredients.

Which brings me to the whole “clean eating” concept which seems to be “The New Black”. Yes. It does work. I am sort of doing it now.. But when I think about it, it is really just taking the god damn time to cook your own food.  “Clean eating” is a new slang that people can sell to unsuspecting, desperate and over weight people who have not a clue.

It’s actually easy.

Chuck the sugar in the bin. Chuck all the snack bullshit in the bin. Dont even eat those things that look healthy like Apricot bars and muesli bars, because they’re actually full of rubbish.  Sounds pretty simple, and to be honest I didn’t think I was eating very much rubbish at all.  Dont even drink Sugar free soft drinks. Rubbish.  All of it.

Whoa! I hear you saying. This from a self professed Alcoholic, beer chugging, wino? Sounds hypocritical. Also sounds like I’m trying to sell you something on a pyramid scheme.  Im not.  If you are dead serious, something’s gotta give.

You dont even have to buy a plan from Michelle Bridges for $120 or one of those online facebook things that I see everyone “Like”. Spend that money on a Gym membership instead.  Or not. Just go for a jog.  I HATE running. I hate it because I have huge boobs and a big bubble butt  and I weigh too much for it to be fun. But I am actually fuckin surprised to see that I am getting better at it. I just visualise myself as Sarah Connor getting ready for the Terminator to come and try to rain hammer blows to her head, and that works for me.  You go girl.   terminator

Another thing I did was join My Fitness Pal.  It’s a website and an app. You put in everything you eat and do. Exercise, calories, water. And, you make friends with totally random people you’ve never even met, and say encouraging things to one another like “great work” and “Well done”. Believe it or not, this actually works. They don’t know you, you don’t know them, but you’re united by a common cause.  And they kick your butt if you stray from the flock. It costs nothing. It’s effective and there are some amazing stories from real people on there.  Including a guy who used to eat 15,000 calories a day. he’s managed to lose over 100Kg in 12 months.  15 thousand fricken calories! Thats about 10 buckets of KFC.

Anyway. not tryna preach to y’all but as they say…

The more you know.

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One thought on “Food

  1. Tanya says:

    So proud of you 🙂

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