A Roller Skating Jam called Saturday.

Im just going to preface this with the clip.


Today I had surprise work. I dont normally “Do” Saturdays, so it was a step off into the abyss that is ‘Saturday retail’.  It is known to be our company’s biggest trading day, and it brings with it some gems.

Saturday retail is nothing like the roller skating Jam. Unless of course you have managed to jump on some good pingers or some other kind of ability to become disengaged. Hallucinogenic or not.

Today I had an engaging assortment of personalities that went like this:

Fake hair,

Fake Contacts,

Fake tits,

Fake tans,

an Ice Junkie who wanted to sing whatever was on the radio at the top of his voice whilst shopping for Rabbit things,  a customer who sighed and moaned and ummed and ahhed and then when I told her the price she counted out the coins for me as well as the $50 note,  as though I was an imbecile. I hadn’t the heart to inform her that she had vegemite ( I hope) smeared from one corner of her mouth up to her ear.

One of the things Ive done in the last 10 years in retail, is grow disaffected to people’s attempts at self elevation , by putting you down… or…  to misconstrue the way things are put across.  When I turned up to work, as a replacement for someone, I had opened the store late.  My first customer exclaimed. ” What’d ya do? Sleep in?”  again… not my fault you wanted to rock up at the crack of 9 to buy something dude.. but I guess Im on your time now.  Nope.  I said…wasnt me. They dont need to know why exactly I was reefed from my bed at an ungodly hour on a Saturday.  Nor do you, but it involved something equally as crazy and fitting for the day. Nothing else really surprised me.



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